My fatigue is coming back pretty bad this week. It’s hard to get stuff done that I want to get done. I’m only able to do things it seems like every other day. I’ve been trying to get my front flower bed planted but it’s taking a lot longer than I had planned to get it done because I have to have a recovery day after I work on it. It’s also affecting the other stuff I need to get done. Like chores around the house. I hate it. I wish it was possible to just recharge myself like you do a battery 😦
I don’t know if the fatigue is because I’m going into a flare, or I’m coming out of one, or if it’s happening just because. The only thing I can really do is wait and see what happens with my symptoms over the next week or so. I could also just be over doing it. But it sucks to think that. I never really had to ever worry about over doing it for the day until recently. At 25, I shouldn’t have to be worrying about stuff like that. I shouldn’t have to be worrying about any of this shit. Life can be so fucking unfair sometimes.
I added up my medical bills that I’ve paid so far this year and I died a little inside. I didn’t realize that it was that much 😦 And I still have several hundred dollars worth that still need paid. Then there’s all the doctors appointments and procedures that I haven’t had yet. I also don’t know how much the Cimzia will cost yet. I also found out yesterday that for the IRS stuff for medical bills went from being 7.5% of your adjusted gross income to 10%. Which to me is a load of bullshit. It would be nice to get some money back but who knows if I will qualify now.
I decided to join a book club this week. They meet once a month to discuss the book for that month. I’m pretty excited about it. I’m looking forward to meeting new people and possibly making some new friends. I hope it works out well!
“It’s a common belief that positive thinking leads to a happier healthier life. As children we are told to smile, be cheerful, and put on a happy face. As adults we are told to look on the bright side, to make lemonade, and see glasses as half full. Sometimes reality can get in the way of our ability to act the happy part though. Your hope can fail, boyfriends can cheat, friends can disappoint. It’s in these moments, when you just want to get real, drop the act, and be your true scared unhappy self.” ~Grey’s Anatomy